"SANTA! OH MY GOD! SANTA'S COMING! I KNOW HIM! I KNOW HIM!"

Year: 2003

Directed by: Jon Favreau

Written by: David Berenbaum

"After inadvertently wreaking havoc on the elf community due to his ungainly size, a man raised as an elf at the North Pole is sent to the U.S. in search of his true identity"

-Summary written by anonymous

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First of all, happy holiday for all my readers! It is time for a Xmas themed film. I was trying to find not so Xmas-spirited movies but didn't get many helpful tips, so I decided to give up on the idea of finding other movies like Die Hard and Filth which take place during Xmas but aren't actually Xmas spirited.

I've seen a lot about Elf, but I hadn't ever seen it before. I actually was expecting something slightly different from Elf. I haven't seen Will Ferrell, so I had some weird expectations. For some reason I thought Elf would be intended for adult audiences. Now, well, it's not simply for kids, but it is a film for the whole family, which means it has a lot of themes kids appreciate more than adults. By that I mean such typical holiday spirit that grows towards the end - and how adults in the film aren't interested in Xmas or their children and blah blah. Sure, that is unfortunately true, but it has been used so many times in films it's becoming boring.

Sure, Elf had some originality. The idea of an elf adjusting to human life is silly but interesting. Of course the theme of that idea has been explored over and over again, but adding the Xmas feeling to it makes it different from the typical theme. 

The story goes on the same way every single comedy film seems to go. It is funny until the end where it's almost sad because something goes so badly wrong, but in the end everything is alright again! I saw that pattern even before I was half-way through the film. 

But then again, it's a Xmas comedy film for the whole family. How could that be original? So when thinking of that, Elf was an alright film. 

☆☆☆☆☆

5 / 10

"They say he doesn't die, sir. Been shot, stabbed. Doesn't ever die." "Bull-fucking-shit. This Pedro has just got a thick neck is all."

Year: 2013

Directed by: Robert Rodriguez

Written by: Kyle Ward (screenplay), Robert Rodriguez & Marcel Rodriguez (story)

"The U.S. government recruits Machete to battle his way through Mexico in order to take down an arms dealer who looks to launch a weapon into space."

- Summary written by IMDb Editors

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Usually sequels are worse than the originals, right? But obviously no rules apply to Machete or Machete Kills. The weaknesses and strengths of the two movies are pretty much the same: They are both hilarious and amazingly violent. Both have easy plots and all that. 

The cast of characters is even more amazing this time. Of course there are some same characters in this film as well, but some of the new ones are even weirder. Sofia Vergara with the boob guns that could be straight from Austin Powers -movie? Cuba Gooding Jr., Lady Gaga and Antonio Banderas playing the same character? Charlie Sheen - I mean Carlos Estevez - as the president of United States? All the characters are ridiculous and even greater than previously. Thank you, writers!

Machete Kills made me pay more attention to the dialogue. Of course, again it was filled with one-liners, but it was very colourful. But then again I think most of that came through the subtitles. ("Minua ei kullitella!") 

Like I said previously, the plot of this movie is very simple, but it took some wild B-movie extremes. It was amazing, and I won't complain about that. All those B-movie effects make these movies what they are.

Machete Kills is just as hilarious and violent as the first one. I don't think it needs any recommending. If you liked the first one, you'll like this one too, I promise. And if you didn't like the first one, go watch your serious movies or whatever it is that you watch, don't even try to like Machete Kills. 

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

9 / 10

"We don't have to do this!" "If not us, then who?"

Year: 2010

Directed by: Ethan Maniquis & Robert Rodriguez

Written by: Robert Rodriguez & Álvaro Rodriguez

"After being set-up and betrayed by the man who hired him to assassinate a Texas Senator, an ex-Federale launches a brutal rampage of revenge against his former boss."

- Summary written by anonymous

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I've been meaning to watch Machete... And Planet Terror... And the rest of the Mariachi trilogy. And finally I watched Machete and Machete Kills. I adore Rodriguez and his films - even if I haven't seen them all. I adore the aesthetic and the idea, and finally watching Machete just increased that idea.

Even though "comedy" isn't mentioned in the genres, Machete is definitely hilarious. It's partially ridiculously bad, but it's also incredible just because of that. If Machete had been made completely seriously, it would suck, but it's not. 

The characters are weird in a really charming way. Some of them are clichés that meet some really weird action video game - especially in how the characters dress. The actors and actresses are all well chosen for the roles. Well, that's mildly put when it comes to Danny Trejo. No one else could play Machete.

The plot of this movie is very typical for a revenge type of action movie. It's obvious and predictable, but it isn't the plot that gives Machete its charm. It's the annoying one-liners which are so bad they are funny. It's the atmosphere and aesthetic, typical to Rodriguez and Tarantino. It's the variety of characters. It's a lot of things, but the plot isn't one of them. But we don't watch Machete for the plot, now do we? We watch it for it's value as a cult movie. 

Machete is absolute gold in its humour, atmosphere and violence. Along other works of Rodriguez, it's an instant cult classic. If a few severed heads and some guts don't turn you off, watch this movie!

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

9 / 10

"What does a post-modern romantic writer do all day?" "Find beauty and praise it." "That's like the opposite of what I do."

Year: 2014

Directed and written by: Steven Brill

"A reporter's dream of becoming a news anchor is compromised after a one-night stand leaves her stranded in downtown L.A. without a phone, car, ID or money - and only 8 hours to make it to the most important job interview of her life."
- Summary written by anonymous

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This film seemed like something funny and light to watch when not knowing what else to watch. And I was right. Walk of Shame may be funny, but the longer it goes on the less funny it seems. Everything is more or less repetitive, and everything goes badly again and again. The film doesn't offer anything new or surprising. The plot has been used thousands of times.

The movie should've been shorter. The makers probably just wanted to make that 1,5 hour film, yadda yadda, but the movie gets tiring. 

Walk of Shame reminded me slightly of What's Your Number. The opening of the movie seemed similar. Though the opening could've been much better. It seemed like the closing credits with a short piece of the movie showing or something like that. 

The cast was great, which felt like such a waste. Basically this film isn't worth a watch, even if it isn't the worst movie out there. 

☆☆☆☆

4 / 10

"You have to invite me in."

Year: 2010

Directed by: Matt Reeves

Written by: Matt Reeves (Screenplay) & John Ajvide Lindqvist (screenplay and novel: "Låt den rätte komma in")

A bullied boy finds a new friend in the mysterious girl that moves into his building.

---

In middle school we saw a piece of Låt den rätte komma in in Finnish/literature class, when we were studying the horror genre. I wasn't too interested in the film at time, mostly because 14-15-year-old me wasn't interested in horror. On the contrary I was terrified of everything, because I had bad experiences with horror before I turned like 17. I think The Rite was the first horror movie I could watch without losing my ability to sleep. But these days I appreciate all genres: if the film is well made, genre doesn't matter too much.

I happened to watch Let Me In because Netflix recommended it for me. I adore Chloë Grace Moretz, and I actually didn't know she was in Let Me In. But whatever I was expecting from this film, I wasn't disappointed!

The story of Let Me In is very tragic and unhappy, but it has such heart-warming, cute little moments my heart was about to break. Of course Moretz' character is a brutal vampire, but she plays that innocent little girl so well.

One other thing really stands out in this film: the cinematography. Usually British studios make movies very similar to the typical Hollywood scene, but the cinematography in this movie is so amazingly European. Let Me In reminds me a lot of different Danish movies I've seen. I'd really love to compare this to Låt den rätte komma in but since I haven't seen it I truly can't say anything for sure, but I'll take a wild guess and say that the cinematography has been strongly effected by the original.

The soundtrack of this movie is absolutely enchanting. It has the strengths of horror and some kind of child-like fantasy.

The story of this film is brilliant. It's simple, yet it isn't. There are so many ways the viewer can interpret different scenes and plot points, thus stories like this are way more interesting to the audience. Especially when you can read different theories and watch the movie again to see how well those match up.

There's a lot of blood and such in this film, but it isn't horror in the way that it just suddenly scares you. It is way subtler, quieter. The film isn't scary, it's more like... disturbing. But all the beautiful scenes make up for that, and the viewer doesn't feel the usual horrible feeling that usually lingers after a horror movie. 

Finally the writer doesn't just ignore the classic vampire features. I'm sick of the trope where the vampires of the film are like "No, we don't sleep in coffins or turn into bats, that's Hollywood stuff" (you know which film I am talking about, right?). Sure, maybe Abby didn't turn into a bat here - at least we didn't see that, but who knows? - but there still were so many classic details of vampires, for instance how vampires have to be invited or allowed inside. Hence the name.

I warmly recommend Let Me In, even if you aren't interested in horror genre. This film is more like dark fantasy drama than horror. It has amazing story and such brilliant cast. It's a beautiful film, definitely.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

10 / 10

LOOKING FOR XMAS FILMS

And before you even think, 

NO,

I don't mean films that are actually filled with the holiday spirit. 

I am looking for films that take place during the holidays, but aren't in anyway the kind of Xmas movies that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I'm looking for action and blood, or some really brutally tragic drama / or comedy. Anything like that is fine.

Which is why I'm looking at you, my dear readers. You might know so much more than me. A film that takes place during Christmas, but isn't about some heart-warming events, but on the contrary. 

Currently my list consists of  three movies, because I am counting out The Nightmare Before Christmas.

• Die Hard 
• Die Hard 2
• Filth

So if you know a film and would like to help me out, contact me via comments, Twitter, Tumblr, or for instance, Facebook group where I posted a link for this. Whatever works for you best!

If I get enough, I'll make a list of them. If I get enough but not too much, I'll just watch them, write about them, and mention who recommended it for me.

Thanks in advance, and happy holidays,

Misto.

"I've met my demons and they are many. I've seen the devil, and he is me."

Year: 2013

Directed by: Mike Flanagan

Written by: Mike Flanagan, Jeff Howard & Jeff Seidman

Tim Russell was convicted of murder of his father, when he was a child. He is discharged from mental institution, and he gets to meet his sister. However, Kaylie still believes that all the murders were caused by the mirror their father had in his office. She's even done research about the subject, and she's ready to prove the mirror has supernatural powers with her foolproof plan.

---

The story and especially the story of the mirror is very intriguing. My friends watched a bit of this film at school once, but they didn't finish the film. After that I've been wanting to finish the film. I just had to know what happens with the siblings, and what exactly the mirror did.

Because you see, what happened to them as children isn't clearly stated at the beginning. Their childhood is revealed slowly along the film, with series of flashbacks. Flashbacks are a very effective choice. Also not revealing everything about the mirror in their first conversation creates an aura of mystery around the mirror, and it's much more realistic. Why would the siblings go through the whole story, when they already know it - or are trying to let go of that? Flashbacks are much better way to show what happened, instead of going through it in dialogue. They also provide very good way to increase the effects of the horror genre. 

The best part of the horror in Oculus is how it plays with your mind. Like when the characters do something, only to realise they didn't do it. Or when they think something is real, but it isn't - or they think something isn't real, and it is. It's better and scarier than any ghost the mirror might cast. 

The flashbacks also create an effective way to play with the characters' (and the audience's) minds. The mirror doesn't need to make the flashbacks, they are in their head already. The film very skilfully mixes past and present. It definitely is effective, but it might get slightly confusing. It's hard to tell sometimes what in the flashbacks during the last third of Oculus really happened, and what was changed by the present. 

The editing of this movie is really effective as well. The change of the locus was rapid. It increases the feeling of really quick pace towards the end, when there are more and more flashbacks, and they are clearly mixing with the present. But even if the settings change quickly, there aren't too many characters and it all takes place in that one house. It is easy to get back on track. 

Oculus is also very well shot. Some of the angles used are mesmerizing, capturing the enchantment of a character or an object - or capturing how a character is enchanted by the object. The cinematography shows important details and makes the movie look simply beautiful when needed, and horribly gruesome when needed. 

The dialogue is often very realistic in the horror genre - especially before anything weird starts happening. It's the same kind of dialogue you have with your family and friends and the people around you. It's even playfully humdrum. In Oculus, the dialogue succeeds as well, apart from few details that just don't seem real.

Oculus is worth a watch, but if you are experienced in the horror genre, you might find it predictable and typical. is a good enough horror film. It isn't boring, even if the beginning is slow. But towards the end more and more things happen and more and more is revealed. That keeps the viewers on their seats.  

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

7 / 10

"Saint Nicholas is not coming this year. Instead, a much darker, ancient spirit. He and his helpers did not come to give, but to take."

Year: 2015

Directed by: Michael Dougherty

Written by: Todd Casey, Michael Dougherty & Zach Shields

There's no Christmas spirit in this household! The whole family is gathered - for better or worse - to spend the holiday together. The only one trying to keep up the spirit is the son, Max, but even he can't stand his cousins' bullying him. He gives up his hopes for the Christmas, and accidentally invites an evil spirit to the neighbourhood.

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Let's be honest here. Who would go see this movie and thinking it actually might be good? 

I did. I hoped it would be scary and good and it would ruin the whole Xmas for me, since I hate Christmas.

Then I learnt it is a comedy. I had to abandon my hopes. That's because horror comedies usually aren't that good. There is usually too much comedy and not enough horror, when it should be the other way around. 

The good parts of this movie are the beginning and the end. Really. I can't name anything else.

Seriously, the first time when the Krampus (voiced by Gideon Emery!!! (as if he said anything)) is introduced, that moment is perfectly scary. It's amazing and so skilfully made. The ending was amazing because it felt like a great disappointment and you are ready to sigh and demand your money back. But! Oh, how skilfully they must've planned that end.

The middle part of the movie isn't that good, and the very beginning before Krampus. That means most of the movie.

After Krampus is first introduced, nothing is as good and terrifying as that moment. There are moments that build up the tension and you feel something horrible coming up, but you are let down. Krampus is ruined as well. He stops being scary after the audience could see him. After he is shown it ruins the feeling. It definitely ruined it, because when you don't see him, you build something in your mind that the true face of Krampus can never be as terrifying as the idea of him. 

The comedy part of this movie really succeeds. The mystery is, was some of the humour intentional or not? Some of the scenes seem like they are meant to be terrifying, but they are so ridiculous there's no other choice but to laugh. But I guess gingerbread men are meant to be hilarious - and they are. They are weird and funny in a really disturbing way. 

The dialogue succeeds really well at being funny, and it had the strengths of both horror and comedy - and the weaknesses of comedy.

Krampus might have some really good parts, but it really isn't worth your money. It's really boring, and horror movies are not meant to be boring. If you really want to see it, you're going to be disappointed. It doesn't give much new to the audience. It's boring, and its potential is flashed too rarely. Do not bother.

But was it better than the Christmas themed play our school did? Yes, yes it was.

☆☆☆

3 / 10

I honestly feel so weird about Gideon Emery. How? Why? 

Another familiar name pops up though - Zach Shields, one of the writers! I had to think about it for a minute, but I finally could place his name somewhere. He's the second member of Dead Man's Bones, alongside with Ryan Gosling. Which is why I'll take this time and recommend Dead Man's Bones, it's amazing band, which plays kind of like romantic eerie ghost love songs. 

Check this band out!