Revisiting X-Men 2k18: X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

Directed by: Gavin Hood

Written by: David Benioff & Skip Woods

A look at Wolverine's early life, in particular his time with the government squad Team X and the impact it will have on his later years.

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I thought I would only do one review per day but I'm super bored and depressed, so I went through two movies today. There's a chance I'll even watch First Class tonight, but we'll see.

Like The Last Stand, X-Men Origins: Wolverine is also disliked among the fans. I'm having hard time trying to review the story, see what's wrong with it, mostly because I've seen X-Men Origins: Wolverine so many times back when I was sixteen and just discovering X-Men and falling hard for Logan. It was my favourite, so it's hard for me to be completely objective. But I'm going to try.

The biggest problem with this movie is that we don't need it. Like as one movie it offers something new to us, Logan's past. But when we're considering the big picture, hardly anything happens in X-Men Origins: Wolverine that we don't figure out from some other movie, and most of it is already in conflict with what we learn from other movies.

Of course continuity went down the toilet with the reboot.

However, here are some of the thing I noticed that are completely useless because of other movies.

A) Sure, Wolverine's past is new to us, since we've only seen bits of the procedure that put adamantium on his bones, but the past is discovered in pieces through other movies, and we don't necessarily need to know what happened exactly. I mean after X2, didn't Logan kind of... give up on his past? From what Stryker said he probably gathered that he didn't want to know what kind of things he used to do, who he used to be. Sure, it's tragic and hurtful and it's just a big puddle of pain for our hero, but still slightly useless when it comes to other movies.

B) Scott Summers. Yeah it's great to see a familiar face, except oh wait, now that we have X-Men: Apocalypse, everything that happens to Scott here is absolutely useless, and it's in conflict. And let's be honest, Apocalypse did the thing way better.

C) Emma Frost. Again, great to see someone like her, but again, in conflict with X-Men: First Class and X-Men: Days of Future Past.

D) Yeah, we get a lot of new characters, like Gambit... But we've never seen them after this movie and they barely played an interesting part here.

E) What was the biggest crime of this movie? Oh yeah, what they did to Wade Wilson. That was awful and didn't make sense. But then oh, Deadpool got his own movie. None of the shit in X-Men Origins: Wolverine never happened. So was it worth it? I doubt it. Only good thing here is we do get to see how amazing Ryan Reynolds is, before... you know.

There's only one thing in the other movies that would need you to see this one, and it's Kayla's voice briefly in The Wolverine. Seriously, that's everything this movie can give to you, since it's in conflict with the other movies and all that shit.

The story here is alright apart from all that. It just doesn't give you much. You know what gave me more? The video game based on this movie. There were some alterations, but it also gave us Raven Darkholme - you know, Mystique - and there was some interesting stuff with Trask and Sentinels... And it was generally a fun video game, where the only annoyance was how much platforming there was.

The only thing this movie gives us is angst. In a way, it can be enough to certain audience, but mostly the continuity errors (which necessarily weren't errors before the reboot came and kind of wrecked this movie) ruin it. The film is alright, but honestly, The Wolverine is way better as a Wolverine solo movie, and when it comes to Logan, it fucking destroys this movie.

☆☆☆☆

4 / 10

Revisiting X-Men 2k18: X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

Directed by: Brett Ratner

Written by: Simon Kinberg & Zak Penn

An all-out war looms when the discovery of a cure for mutations draws a line between the followers of Charles Xavier and those of Magneto.

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I'm starting to regret the complicated way I'm titling these reviews...

This review contains SPOILERS, so in case you haven't seen this 12-year-old movie, don't read ahead

Yesterday I ended my X2 review with the words "It still keeps you hooked, and you'll definitely want to see what's going to happen with the Phoenix storyline." Well, I'm not as familiar as the comics as I should be, but even I know that there are many things X-Men: The Last Stand got wrong.

I know the original Phoenix storyline was way more complicated in the comics, and that it was even explained to new readers in a very over-simplified way. I actually subscribed to X-Men when the comics were still published regularly here in Finland. The last thing they ever published was the Avengers vs. X-Men thing, with Hope Summers and another Phoenix Force storyline, and the original Jean Grey episode was explained very poorly. The only reason I somewhat know what really happened is because someone's letter got published in the magazine and they explained the whole thing, which was great for someone like me, who was fairly new and couldn't read every fucking comic book that had come out before that year.

Of course the movie shouldn't have to be exactly like the comics, but if I remember correctly there is no dual personality originally, and in the comics the Phoenix thing was like... The Dark Phoenix wasn't really Jean Grey, or something like that. I'd love to find a simple article or blog post or something explaining how it should've been done and what it was originally, but I can't and / or don't have the time to scour through the internet, so if someone has a link to something or can explain the thing in the comments, please do. Now I just know the storyline doesn't go well, but I'm not entirely sure why.

I'm mostly disappointed by what The Last Stand did to certain characters.

For me it seems like the writers fucked up certain characters. Firstly, Charles Xavier felt a lot different compared to the first two movies and for the newer movies. Something about him wanting to keep Phoenix "in a cage" just doesn't sit right with me, and his line "I don't have to explain myself, least of all to you" to Logan just didn't sound right. Where's the mentor, helpful and good person, here he is just... limiting people and being a dick to everyone. In all the other movies Xavier is amazing, a father figure, a character someone can really look up to, and now he's being weirdly mean.

Another thing I don't like is how Mystique gets treated. She gets depowered and therefore abandoned my Magneto. Okay, so from everything we've seen, Mystique's loyal to the end. So why would this one instance make her betray Magneto and reveal his plans etc. to human beings? Sure, she's one of them now, but she was always oppressed because of her mutation - her family even tried to kill her, like she says. So why would this one thing make her change her whole ideas? Sure, I don't know what she would've done, but this just doesn't feel right. It would've been more believable if we knew something else about her. I mean in the movies the only thing we know is that we see her on Magneto's side - when they're apart she's planning on saving him. Maybe that's the problem - maybe the writers didn't give her any other personality than being Magneto's... girl? Maybe they thought that hey, should she lose everything she'd turn against Magneto. I have no idea but it's just fucking weird choice to make with the character.

Another character who gets unfair treatment is Rogue. She's an amazing, badass character in the comics, but in the movies we just see her as a teenager, who then gets depowered. I see why, I understand that, and I'm going to talk about that later, but... Why, though? Why don't we get that awesome Rogue?

There are a lot of new mutants introduced... and killed off just as fast. We don't even get the names of all of them. Why are all these cool characters here if they don't really do anything? It's a shame.

One good thing about the writing of this movie is, that even though there are those cheesy lines I hate so much, they mix well. They don't stand out like those annoying little one-liners in Avengers movies, for example.

Also this movie looks amazing. Colours are magnificent, the effects are stunning, and everything with Jean Grey's powers is just... It looks spectacular and I really want these powers for myself, holy fuck, she's cool. The lighting bothers me partially, because it's so dark most of the time, and then the lighting is super strong and just burns characters out, it's so white and as a film student makes me nervous.

I can't talk about X-men without going on to the philosophical things. In X-Men: The Last Stand the cure for mutants gives us enough to ponder.

At first glance you'd agree with Storm, that there's nothing to cure. But think about how easy that is for Storm to say. Storm is a goddess, avatar of storm. She can hide her powers, and she can fully control it. Now think about Rogue. She's the one Storm tells "there's nothing wrong with us" or "nothing to cure". Rogue can't touch anyone without draining their powers and near killing them. Rogue represents those to whom the cure would be useful.

But of course since the cure is also used as a weapon, which is where it gets ruined. Sure, cure would be useful to some, but when it's used on anyone without their consent, it's not "a cure" anymore.

There are lot of great things about The Last Stand, but also many things wrong. And while I know what's wrong I like watching it. Why? Because how incredibly cool it is sometimes. Still, it's amazing visually, but the writing is awful most of the time. Continuity is fucked up and people die just because they can with little to no affect on anything else that's going on.

☆☆☆☆☆

5 / 10

Revisiting X-Men 2k18: X2 (2003)

Directed by: Bryan Singer

Story by: Zak Penn, David Hayter & Bryan Singer

Screenplay by: Michael Dougherty, Dan Harris & David Hayter

The X-Men band together to find a mutant assassin who has made an attempt on the President's life, while the Mutant Academy is attacked by military forces.

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I've heard many people say that X2 is the best one of the original trilogy, and I have to agree, the first one being a little tame and the third one just being wrong on all accounts.

What I mostly like about X2 is it gives hints to Wolverine's past, which was a mystery in the first one, apart from few quick flashes. I also like the new characters we get to meet, even though this might be the last time we see them, apart from a game that takes place between X2 and X-Men: The Last Stand. (I have that game, but didn't get to finish it: it was old and the computer didn't like it. But that game would've explained why Nightcrawler is not in The Last Stand.) And one thing I really, really like about X2 is that it finally has that epic theme music. Unfortunately the next time it's in a movie it's during X-Men Days of Future Past. 

This time the story is a bit more epic, because the stakes are high: it's not just some people that are in danger, it's... Well, everyone. 

William Stryker is an easy-to-hate villain, but he's great. It's not hard to understand why he hates mutants and why he has so many issues with them, but you won't agree with him, which is something I appreciate about how a villain is written. Also Stryker as a villain creates wonderful conflict when it comes to Logan - since apparently Stryker knows him and knows more about him than Logan himself does. 

Another thing I like about this plot and some others is the way Charles Xavier is manipulated and / or used as a weapon. Those plotlines are terrifying mostly because... We all know what Xavier is like. He's a leader: calm, wise, with high morals, but when him and his talents are used against everything Xavier believes in... It's just something so horrible, and I really enjoy watching those stories. 

X2 is still a little bit... Boring. It' an OK superhero movie, but it's not perfect and something's missing. It still keeps you hooked, and you'll definitely want to see what's going to happen with the Phoenix storyline. 

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

7 / 10

Revisiting X-Men 2k18: X-Men (2000)

Directed by: Bryan Singer

Written by: Tom DeSanto, Bryan Singer & David Hayter

Two mutants come to a private academy for their kind whose resident superhero team must oppose a terrorist organization with similar powers.

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Since I brought my X-Men movies home with me I've been planning to watch them all again. Also since I've been inactive due to projects at school I've decided I'd write about each of them. I've written some reviews of some X-Men movies but I thought after studying films for almost a year and since I haven't seen all of them for a while, I could maybe offer something new to these. I'm not sure if that's true with all the movies, but I'm giving it a go.

The first X-Men movie I actually saw was actually X-Men: First Class. Still, when I watched the very first one for the first time, it had the same haunting, effective start. As I get older I start understanding Magneto's background more and more, which is why the whole Hydra thing was weird. I tried to find more information on that but it's not clear to me if there actually was a comic or at least a storyline with Magneto working for Hydra. So because I don't know where to find clear information about this, I won't go into it much, just say it would be the worst idea ever, just like making Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver work for Hydra in Avengers Age of Ultron, but let's be honest, that movie was bad.

The story here is solid. It's not as epic as the plots seem to be nowadays, but I don't think they all need to be like the most awesome thing ever. Sometimes something simple is enough, especially when the movie is the start for a series. And when it comes to X-Men, it came out before superhero movies were the big deal they are these days. The plot works, it's still thrilling and action packed even though they aren't dealing with end of the world or some other huge threat like that.

X-Men has two weaknesses in my opinion. One I can forgive, due to the age of this movie: special effects. They just look awful in this movie, but you're able to look past them. The other thing is something that bothers me with every fucking superhero movie: the writing just happens to be so fucking cheesy at times. It's mostly dialogue, which has cheesy one-liners that make you roll your eyes or just lines that feel really insecure: not because of the character but because of the writing behind it. But the thing is, you can't blame that on the year since superhero movies keep doing that. It annoys the hell out of me. 

The first movie doesn't offer as much philosophy as other X-Men things. Usually the philosophical pondering comes from Magneto, because sometimes you just have to wonder if Magneto's right. And I think there are a lot of people reading X-Men comics who can admit that sometimes Magneto has a point. Human beings don't seem to accept mutants at all, so sometimes it's like yeah, maybe Magneto should get rid of them all. ... Well, not exactly like that, but you get the point.

But here the thing is you know the fault in Magneto's plan before he does, so there's no "so who's right?" 

Another philosophical thing about the X-men is that the mutants are a symbol for oppressed groups, but... there's the same problem as with Zootropolis. Why are oppressed groups in these movies more powerful than humans who oppress them? The symbolism doesn't work because it's not the case in the real world. In real world there's no real reason to hate / be afraid of, say, LGBTQ+ people, but then there's X-Men... These people have the reason to be afraid of mutants because like isn't there always some threat with them like oh shit, the world's going to end, and it's because of mutants.

I'm not saying "yeah human beings are right, mutants are bad" because... well, they aren't real. I'm just saying the symbolism doesn't necessarily work.

But I'm saying that now so I don't have to say it with every X-men I watch. 

The first X-men movie is a solid superhero movie, definitely worth watching and definitely a great start. It leaves you wanting more, because you don't know everything about characters, and of course there will be another movie. I don't know if it was that clear when it came out but these days, if there's a superhero movie, there's going to be a sequel. 

☆☆☆☆☆☆

6 / 10

Alice Through The Looking Glass (2016)

Directed by: James Bobin

Written by: Linda Woolverton

Based on characters created by: Lewis Carroll

Alice returns to the whimsical world of Wonderland and travels back in time to help the Mad Hatter.

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When Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland came out, I loved that movie so much. It's still amazing to me. I'm not a big fan of fantasy, but it's so different from the typical fantasy world, maybe because the original books were children's stories, so the world is more colourful than what the typical fantasy world would look nowadays in a movie or a video game. And the way it looked and worked in the first movie, it was amazing, and I just wanted to know more about the world. I tried to purchase the video game, but it gave me vertigo when I tried to control it, so I gave up on that. So when Alice Through The Looking Glass finally came to Netflix I decided to watch it.

And boy am I disappointed.

Right from the start it just doesn't feel right. Sure, I remember how the first one ended but still it's like what is this, Pirates of the Caribbean? It's just a pointless ship thing and... What did it tell us? Alice's skills as a captain maybe, and that Alice is at sea, but we could've skipped this part and just start when Alice comes back to the UK.

Something just is missing. This movie isn't as charming, and the characters feel less like themselves. They feel shallow, and some characters seem like they are important to the plot but you could easily edit some characters out and change the plot a little, and it would still be similar movie. I think most of the characters just were there because they were in the original. Like honestly, we could've used a whole different plot and the only one we really needed from the original characters is Alice, maybe the people in the real world, but from Wonderland... We just don't need them all yet there they are.

Time travel plots are always interesting, and I mean interesting because there are so many different types, and almost all work differently. Here we have barely any explanation to how it works, what can you change (nothing), and what can happen. The idea here is alright, but it just doesn't work as a story. There's something you could salvage and use to make a different plot, a better plot.

Visual effects, costume design, all that jazz is alright but it's not as interesting as the first movie. It's repeating itself and is offering barely anything new.

There are only two characters I actually care about. Of course Alice, who is charming and just an amazing character, and who Mia Wasikowska plays well. The other character is a bit more novel: Time, portrayed by Sacha Baron Cohen. Time as a person is interesting, the design is amazing and if the part had been bigger and written better, Sacha Baron Cohen could've given a great performance. It's still great and I enjoy it, but I feel like the writing is what's ruining it. The design reminds me of Dragon in Dark Sarah's music videos.

If I could I'd just take the parts I like about this movie and make a different screenplay that wouldn't necessarily need "Alice in Wonderland" stuff in it. A character like Alice and then the Time thing... Like there's something there. This movie is close to alright but it still manages to fail.

☆☆☆

3/10

Hurricane Bianca (2016)

Directed and written by: Matt Kugelman

A New York teacher, who moves to small town Texas where he's fired for being gay, returns disguised as a mean lady to get revenge on the nasty town.

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Netflix recommended Hurricane Bianca to me because I have been binge watching RuPaul's Drag Race in the last three weeks. This recommendation came in handy because I had just moved on to season 8 and I hadn't really connected with any of the competitors the way I connected with Bianca Del Rio in season 6. I think I had passed that movie scrolling through Netflix before but didn't really pay attention until now.

The story itself is not the best but it sure is entertaining. It's hilarious, mostly thanks to all these amazing personalities, mostly Roy Haylock / Bianca Del Rio. There's so much charm and humour there, exactly why Bianca became my favourite. She's mostly the force that keeps the movie going. There are also other great performers in the film that keep it alive and save it from falling flat. But if it wasn't for Bianca Del Rio, even those small roles wouldn't help this movie.

The film is entertaining though of course some jokes are way too corny or childish but I'm ready to let that slide, which I don't do often, only when a movie gave me something. And while the humour is the main thing in this movie there's also an amazing meaning and message, which is something I can appreciate.

There was something weird going on in the movie, visually. There was something up with the lighting, and I discussed it with my friend Topi and his guess was that the lighting would've been made for Bianca's makeup, for it to look as good as it possibly can. That can be it, but I don't really know. There were many scenes where people or backgrounds or items looked fake and extremely unreal. 

I got used to it, eventually, but what I didn't get used to was the cinematography. Austin F. Schmidt, what the hell was that? Do you not know the rules of composition, or did you just want to break them as much as you could? Sometimes it was quirky and kind of fun but it was also super freaking annoying. Like if something gave this film an amateur look, it was the cinematography.

The weird lighting and cinematography almost make me want to go to my teachers and ask them to watch this movie only so they can explain to me why the hell does it look so wrong.

Apart from that, a very funny movie! Not the greatest, but certainly entertaining. I really want to see the sequel, I have friends already excited for it, so I'll definitely have company to watch this with.

☆☆☆☆☆☆

6 / 10