Monday 3 October 2016

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)


Directed by: Chris Weitz
Written by: Melissa Rosenberg & Stephenie Meyer 

After a disastrous birthday part Edward Cullen dumps Bella Swan, who gets depressed and finally finds joy in her friend Jacob. But Jacob also has a secret very alike to Edward's...


I know what you are thinking, and believe me, I feel it too. Why would I ever watch anything like this ever again? Those three months I spent obsessing over Twilight when I was 12 years old were enough. But you know what? I've only seen the first movie and this one, and this one once year ago. I realised these disasters are all on Netflix. I thought, what the hell, I'm going to watch them all for no reason at all!

Twilight movies are painful to watch. Not because of the dramatic and heart-breaking love stories, but because everyone is expressionless. Everyone always complains about Kristen Stewart, but everyone is just as bad as she is - except none of these actors are bad. I've seen Kristen Stewart in other movies, and she's an excellent actress. Same goes for almost everyone, yet everyone is so horrible in these movies. What also makes these movies painful is how everything is stupidly cheesy and dramatic, and every scene is unnecessary long. You could've easily made this an 1,5 hour film instead of two hours - just cut every useless part out. Thank you.

The story is annoying. Edward breaks up with Bella to protect her and she gets depressed. But her depression is so severe I honestly cannot believe that is a result of a healthy relationship ending. If you delete the supernatural element and change the beginning, it honestly feels like Bella just got out of an abusive relationship and is therefore a little broken and all that. Yeah, Bella is not an extremely three-dimensional character, but I almost want to protect her from Edward. 

I hate Edward Cullen. Sure, there aren't many likeable characters in these movie, but Edward is the worst. He's manipulative and controlling. It's like you start dating someone, but after a while you realise they tell you what to do and you don't dare to defy them. That's the kind of character Edward is. 

Special effects are so stupid. Nothing looks real. All vampires' eyes are so fake, like no one in real life could look a Cullen in the eyes and be like "yep, those are very normal eyes". The wolves were even faker. They looked like they came from a children's animation, and while that's understandable, they looked so incredibly unrealistic it ruined every scene with the wolves in it. 

One thing makes this movie better than the first one: there is less of Edward and more of Jacob. Or is that two things? I still dislike them both, but before we know what Jacob is he's so lovely. Everyone else is just so grim and blah.

Yet I'm still going to watch all of these. 

☆☆☆
3 / 10

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