Wednesday 18 July 2018

What I Watched in Kotka

I was out of town for eight days, most of that was spent working at my school, but I also visited a friend who lives in Kotka. Together we found incredibly stupid films to watch together, so here's a short review of all three of them.

Drive Angry (2011), directed by Patrick Lussier - 4 / 10

We were kind of hoping this would be a movie with an amazing Nicolas Cage freakout moment, but it didn't happen. This film is so silly at times I was kind of excited that someone had made an action comedy like this. Then I realised it wasn't a comedy, or at least that genre wasn't listed on IMDb. What the hell, this movie had so many hilarious over the top moments I thought this had to be made ironically.

Honestly, if this was an ironic action comedy, I'd absolutely love it. But when it seems like it's almost serious, it's just really dumb. Since I can't really tell which it is since it's apparently not a comedy, I have hard time trying to review it. Sure, there were couple of amazing, testosterone filled moments that were super awesome, but mostly it was just alright. And Nicolas Cage didn't serve any of his best over the top moments, so that's a disappointment. I wanted Face/Off Nicolas Cage, not this boring "just mumbling no real yelling" Cage.


Maximum Overdrive (1986), directed by Stephen King - 1 / 10

I mean if you consider Kubrick's Shining and then the miniseries, can you really trust King's opinions on movies based on his work? King's novels are long and slow, and that just doesn't work on screen, because conversations are boring, we need visuals and strong emotions.

Maximum Overdrive doesn't even manage to be scary or brutal, it's just stupid and boring. Maybe that's the way King tried to go. Maybe he wanted a B-movie. But even for a B-movie Maximum Overdrive is super boring. There are too many characters who are so bland I can barely tell them apart. People like B-movies if they are over the top bad and therefore fun to watch, but Maximum Overdrive just... Well, it isn't much.

There isn't excitement and there are only two scenes that are so stupid they are funny, and they are over fast.


The Wicker Man (2006), directed by Neil LaBute - 2 / 10

I had to google Nicolas Cage best freak out scenes to find something worth seeing, and none of them were on Netflix. So we got The Wicker Man. I knew the plot already, so there were no surprises. The movie didn't manage to thrill me at all, and that's not only because I knew what was going to happen. It's mostly because everything thrilling was made so boringly. It would be another thing if this tried to be like a slow burn thriller, but there are so many fake out jump scares for it to actually be slow burn.

Only good thing about this is Nicolas Cage freak outs. Like that's it, there wasn't one interesting scene apart from those. It just was boring.

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